When stupid mistakes bring gloating and glee.

As I approach another job transition I'm tempted to gloat. 

I'm tempted to gloat about the newness, the movement forward, the change, the challenge, the increase in vacation time, the training, and yes, the upgrade in pay. Oh alright, I am gloating. I'm gloating with giddy glee. I'm gloating like a silly girl who got a new doll. I got a new job! I’m gloating, gloating, gloating!

But I keep my gloating to myself (notwithstanding The Snake Charmer’s Wife dot com) because I can't help but to think of all the stupid mistakes I've made along my long and illustrious so-called career path. I have so many professional blunders that I could blog one per day and fill a whole year's worth of material. More than a year. I could name and number each mistake without hardly thinking at all. At least ten gaffes in my occupational history come to mind at this very moment.

There’s a part of me that wishes I could help others not make the same mistakes. But the reality is that most people already don’t do the things I did. Most people have far more grace and style than I, and at a way younger age.

Maybe one day when I learn how to be a more honest writer, I’ll list my numerous job-based idiotic actions and make it all right with the universe. One day this list will be more funny than weird. I’m not there yet. I’d rather just forget about it. The past is the past. Although I do recommend this book that I annotated earlier, a book that successfully makes weird job situations hilarious. That's where I want to go with the list that's building in my brain. 

For now, I’ll just say that I’ve been deeply humbled by unemployment. And my heart aches for those who are unemployed, under-employed, or unsatisfied in their work. I’m stumped at how often I see an inverse relationship between a person’s professional talent and their employment status. I wish I could wave a wand and make it right.

I’ll also say that I believe job coaches when they advise you to network, network, network. The new job which I am presently gloating about is a result of a coffee conversation I had about two and a half years ago. Networking has the cache of being self-centered, tricky, or only for extroverts. But I’ve come to believe it’s none of those things. The great thing about networking is that you can and should let the others do the talking. (Which is the basis of many of my afore mentioned career blunders.) Networking is about listening and being interested in what other people have to say. It’s not about tooting your own horn. It’s about living your life as a decent human being. Going to church is networking, even if you don’t say a dang word to anyone. Seriously. Volunteering at your kids’ school events is networking. Helping others is networking. Taking someone to lunch, joining a group, organizing a food drive, accepting a job you might not really want – it’s all networking. Happy hour is networking! Just showing up is networking. Networking is about reaching out to others and letting others help you. I'm convinced that’s the only way we are going to get out of this recession.

My career suggestions are dumber than my career blunders, so I’ll just stop right there.

More than gloating, as I approach this transition I hold an enormous sense of gratitude for all the people who gave me chances, and for those continue to dish up opportunities in spite of my many, many mistakes. I’m living proof that we don’t get what we deserve. We get better.

If you are looking for a job, a new job, a better job, a different job, I'm wishing for all the blessings of joy and prosperity and compassion and purpose to rain down upon you.

With love, T

A Giant Man. Remembering The Rev. Robert Nervig.




l to r: Pastors Robert Nervig, Bob,
Rachel Thorson Mithelman, Harry Mueller at Bob's ordination, 2007

"I had a dream about you."

That's what Pastor Robert Nervig said about 25 years ago to Bob (my Bob), who was then a happy bachelor making a good living fitting and fabricating prosthetic limbs and orthopedic braces. Enjoying a peaceful life in Brooklyn, where he was raised.

"I had a dream that you would be the youth director here at church." The church, Trinity Lutheran, was situated on 45th Street in the Sunset Park neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York. A community positively teeming with thousands of residents, and hundreds of kids with not much to do and no space to do it.

"Why would I give up a good job to be your youth director?" asked my Bob, who rather liked his quiet, bachelor life, and lucrative paycheck.

"Because I think you'd be good at it," said Pastor Bob Nervig with a gleam in his eye. "And just think of the possibilities. . ."

And many of you know the rest of the story. Pastor Bob and my Bob still keep (kept) in touch with the rascally kids who joined their youth group in that era, who are now lovely adults serving in their own ways as teachers, social workers, doctors, and entrepreneurs. Recently, at age 55, my Bob became an ordained minister and is joyfully serving his first call at St. John's Lutheran in Des Moines, whose people love him back one hundred fold. In some ways it seems so far away from 45th Street Brooklyn. And in other ways, it is a completely natural path for my Bob; yet one that he could not have imagined for himself if for not the dream of a mentor.


Who needs a good salary when you got this?
Seriously, here's the youth group, all grown up,
with Pastor Robert Nervig (making rabbit ears)
 at Bob's ordination in 2007.
Photo courtesy of Emily and Janeen, front row left and middle.

Pastor Bob Nervig imagined possibilities with not only my Bob, but so many other people. You can read the numerous tributes with your own eyes on his Caring Bridge site. "You changed my life" is a common theme. And now so many of us don't know quite what to make of the fact that he died today at about noontime. Apparently, peacefully and with many family members around him. Bob was blessed to see him twice in the past two weeks.

I can't even begin to say in this blog post what Pastor Robert Nervig has meant for my dear in-laws, the Speirs Family, indeed who are my in-laws because of the influence of Pastor Robert Nervig who one day, about 18 years ago, suggested that "Robbie" (my Bob's Brooklyn identity) take in a continuing education conference in the Black Hills of South Dakota (where I happen to be working at the time, and the rest of that is history).

It so it is a melancholy day here today. We think about the influence of one giant man on our lives, and in so many others. And we are so deeply grateful.

Is there really a God? Maybe, maybe not, but if you knew Pastor Robert Nervig, you would be certain that there is a God, and that God is generous, now and forever.

With love, T