Crash landing pad

There are three ways in which I serve food to my kids. All I ask is that you don't judge me. Anyway, the three ways are the helicopter method, the spaceship method, and the crash landing method. They go something like this:

Girlchild or Boychild: "Mom, will you make me a turkey sandwich?"

Me: "Sure." I make the sandwich. I set it on the kitchen counter top.

Me: "Here's your sandwich."

Girlchild or Boychild, who by the way are probably sitting in front of the TV: "Mom, can you helicopter it in?"

Me: "Sure."

Suddenly the plate arises and makes a fast paced thicking noise and rotates in circles as it makes it's way towards the Subjectchild. All the way across the living room straight to the Saidchild and lands gently onto the lap landing pad.

The spaceship method is pretty much the same thing, except it's called a space ship instead of a helicopter. It kind of rotates like a round flying saucer from Mars. Sometimes the turkey sandwich is served on a platter with other food and drink, napkin and fork. Then, the entire platter rotates across the room, same quick thicking noice.

The crash landing method is a whole other thing. That's when the turkey sandwich, or whatever is being served at that particular request, sets so securely on the plate or tray that it suddenly takes off, runs across the room. It makes a screechy "rrrrrrr" sound like a car that has slammed on it's brakes. And then smashes onto the lap landing pad, still in tact for eating of course.

When crash landings occur, Girlchild and Boychild say: "Mom, that's just weird."

And I take heart in the way that author Mary Karr describes the way her family used to eat meals together in her memoir, "The Liar's Club." They used to all sit on the parent's bed, each facing a different wall, with their backs towards the center of the bed, with their food on their laps, all facing outwards. And it worked for them. I think it sounds kind of peaceful. (Rare moments of quiet in that book, anyway.) The way she writes it, it's hilarious. (Lots of hilarity in this read.)

All for now. Thanks for coming over.

With love, T
.